Old Ways are the Best Ways
by crematosis
Summary: What would happen if Light and L both survived the Kira investigation into adulthood? Would they age gracefully or squabble all along the way, just like always....


A/N: Recently I saw somewhere, someone had described L as an old man…maybe it was his posture made him look like an old man. Eh, whatever. But that got me thinking, what would L be like if he lived through the whole Kira investigation and became old?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything…I'm just making anti-money off this.

L was perched in his chair in his usual sitting position, staring at the computer interestedly. His back would creak ominously whenever he leaned forward to squint at the screen.

Raito sat nearby, flopped in a comfy chair. He rolled his eyes at L's actions.

"I have to go use the toilet," L announced, climbing out of his chair.

"I'm coming with you," Raito said with a heavy sigh.

L frowned thoughtfully and turned to face Raito. Light was slowly getting out of his chair to spare his arthritis.

L nibbled the tip of his thumb. "Raito-kun must be stalking me. He always has to go to the bathroom whenever I do."

Raito scowled and shook his arm vigorously, wincing almost immediately at the strain upon his weak joints. "Remember this chain, Ryuuzaki?"

L blinked and seemed to notice the handcuffs for the first time. "Ah. Didn't I chain us together awhile ago?"

Light ground his teeth together. "Yes. And since we are chained together, I have to go wherever you go."

"Alright then. Raito-kun will have to follow me into the bathroom, but he doesn't always have to use the toilet when I do. It's very disturbing."

Raito groaned. "I figure if you've already dragged me in there I might as well go at the same time. That way I don' have to get up again."

L smiled. "Raito-kun is becoming lazy."

Raito scowled. "I'm not lazy, just worn out. You would be exhausted too if you had to deal with yourself everyday."

L cocked his head to one side. "I don't see what Raito-kun is implying by that-oww." He rubbed his neck wearily and straightened it.

Raito groaned. "You're too old to be doing that. Now come on, if you have to go, let's go." He rattled the chain again, this time more gently.

"I do not recall why I am chained to Raito-kun in the first place," l mused.

"You thought I was Kira and you chained yourself to me so you could watch me every second of the day."

"Ah. But why is Raito-kun still chained to me?"

Light scowled. "You lost the key to the handcuffs."

L looked thoughtful. "I prefer to think it is because I still suspect you of being Kira."

Light groaned loudly. "Don't start this again."

"Consider the facts, Light-kun. The deaths have completely stopped now. Therefore, since you are still chained to me, you are unable to kill. Therefore, you are Kira."

Light sighed. 'Personally, I think Kira's already dead. I bet he died of old age." He scowled at L.

L's eyes narrowed. "Kira cannot be dead. He believes himself to be a god and gods simply do not die."

Raito calmly stared L down. "You said he merely believes himself to be a god and is not actually a god. Therefore, he is human and humans die."

L smiled. "Ah, it is good to know that we still have our reasoning capabilities." He frowned and patted his pants pockets. "Now, what did I do with that key?"

"What key?"

"The handcuff key. Since I no longer believe you to be Kira, I shall unlock us."

"You lost that key years ago, Ryuuzaki."

"Oh. Well then, I still believe you to be Kira."

"Why did you suddenly change your mind?"

"Seeing as I no longer have the key, the obvious solution is that Raito-kun stole the key."

"I see a big flaw in that: I'M STILL HANDCUFFFED TO YOU!!! If I really had the key, wouldn't I have freed myself by now?"

"There is no need to shout," L said placidly. "I am not deaf."

Light scowled. "Why me? Why do I have to be stuck with you?"

"If Light-kun does not have the key, then MisaMisa must be in possession of it. She would obviously desire Raito-kun's freedom."

"Misa isn't here," Light snapped. "You can't blame random people like that."

L sighed unhappily. "Such is the burden of getting old. One is no longer appreciated." He looked around absently. "Now, what was I doing?"

"Going to the bathroom," Raito said sullenly.

L looked startled. 'What? Here?"

"No, you're walking to the bathroom."

"Ah yes. That kind of going. Raito-kun needs to be more specific," L said calmly.

Light rolled his eyes. It was useless to argue.

L shuffled down the hallway, bent over nearly in half. L's continually bad posture had hurt his back so badly that it was now impossible for him to straighten up.

L suddenly stopped short. "Raito-kun, I am in the mood for cake."

"No more cake," Light growled. "You have diabetes, remember?"

L sighed unhappily. "Ah yes. The burdens of growing old. It is a shame I did not die young."

"Yes, a shame," Light growled. "Then I wouldn't have to put up with you for so many years. Now come on, if you're going to go to the bathroom, hurry up and get there. Let's not just stand here."

"Right," L said importantly. "And after that, cake."

Light sighed again. There really was no arguing with him.


End file.
